Blank & Jones – Pure Shores
When life gives you lemons, give life something back in return. Be nice. For once.
It’s 9am, I’m sitting alone in the office looking down the window dreaming of the sea, again. A couple of days ago, life gave me lemons and now I am wearing them. And I feel like I should give life something back…
Today, the air changed. I stepped out of the house and I had that feeling that you get early in the morning when you get to the beach. When the sand is a bit cold and it’s a bit chilly but there is so much peace in the air you can actually touch it. Everything stops, you stop, and the only thing left moving are the waves. And your problems go along with them. Everything breaks down to pieces only so that the sea can put them together as they are meant to be. There, in that moment, I reach my nirvana. My worries become the energy I seek, my problems become the motivation I need and every bad thing that has happen, dissolve along with me. I think this is how love is described.
Life is worth living every season, but there’s something about summer, maybe it has to do with this feeling that runs in my veins right now, but I feel more alive than ever, almost like I’m floating on a cloud of pink cotton candy.
Life. Life has actually been treating me really nice the past year… Life gave me someone. That someone that imagined a day where he’ll meet someone like me. That someone that I hoped I will find one day. That someone, the one that I call now my love.
Life gave me strength to quit all bad habits and now I can proudly say that after ten years of smoking, I have 74 days since I quit. And I miss it everyday.
Life made me understand that I cannot run from myself or my feelings, so I quit drinking. For good. Since may last year.
Life gave me the motivation I needed when I felt completely useless so I started going to the gym and and taking classes to quit all unnecessary treatments. For fuck’s sake, I am still too young to need pills everyday.
Life gave me an opportunity when I was completely lost. I quit my last job with no prospects of a future one, no money put aside and now, I am writing. For a living. And it’s been a blissful three months. And counting…
But today, I started counting my time. I am scared that I am not doing enough to give back. People talk about getting their shit together and I actually did. But I fear that life has been too good to me and so, I expect something bad to happen. Because I learned this is how life works.
I’ve always considered myself lucky, but I feel guilty that some people are so unfortunate. Life did not gave them lemons, she gave them nothing. And everytime I pass someone that has nothing to hold on to, no hope, I feel guilty. Because, why do I have and he doesn’t? Why am I special? Why not him?
There is so much evil in the world that sometimes I fall asleep with tears in my eyes not knowing what to do to make the world a better place. Call me naive, but I still have hope in humanity. I know there is beauty and good in the world. I see it everyday in the smile of a stranger and in the sun that paints my skin. I am just afraid I am not doing enough lemonade to give back. Every single day. All I can do is try. But will this ever be enough?
House once said:
“Be good, get good or give up”
I did all three. I just replaced “give up” with “never give up”.
Yours truly, after all this time,
La chat noir